Am I back?

We'll see.

I really should try to write more. As a journal, as a running commentary in my head, a way to defeat boredom..just a way to record my thoughts.

I am horrible at journaling though. I have two journals in which I have written about 5 pages each. Why..it's not like I don't follow through on things. I used to love to write when I was younger. I even had like 3 manuscripts on my parents old IBM. They were more like fantasy, things I wanted to happen to me. Maybe I should try that again.

Although, things are going well for me. (As long as I keep reminding myself because I am one of those people who likes to feel sorry for me.) I am also a bit of a whiner. BUT, I have a great family, a super sweet boyfriend, an amazing job which is bringing me more and more responsibility. 

What I need

• To hear God; to actually listen to Him. I know he is there and he is talking to me and trying to get me to understand what he wants for me.
• To study His word, to read the Bible and understand what I am reading. This is not a skim through kind of book.
• TO STOP WORRYING! Somewhere in my family's genes they passed along the anxiety trait. And it is not just general anxiety like most people get, it is the OMG, I am going to lose my job, I am having an aneurysm, I might be pregnant, nobody likes me anxiety. I took myself off the drugs now I just need to follow through with the "it's all in your head" attitude and remember that God loves me, he gave me this to make me stronger and He will watch out for me.

Alright, it is bedtime. I am going to try to keep this going nearly every day.